How to Navigate Grief Anniversaries: A Step-by-Step Guide
Today marks the third anniversary of my sister Sondra’s passing. I wish I could say I have mastered this grieving process, but grief doesn’t work that way. To be honest, I spent the morning doom-scrolling on social media—first in bed and then in my car, parked outside the bank where I was supposed to get a replacement debit card.
Instead of beating myself up for wasting half the morning, I’m choosing to give myself grace. Grief is unpredictable, and some days are harder than others. With the holidays approaching—I decided to create a roadmap for navigating these difficult days. Hopefully, it can help you too.
Step 1: Reflect on Who You Want to Spend the Day With
Start by asking yourself how you want to spend the day. Your answer might depend on your emotional needs at the time:
- Do I want to spend this day alone to self-reflect?
- Would being with friends and family feel more supportive?
- Should I keep my schedule as normal as possible by going to work or focusing on tasks?
- Am I unsure? It’s okay not to have the answer right away.
Step 2: Choose the Focus of the Day
Consider what you want the day to be about. It might help to give it a purpose:
- Celebrating your loved one’s life and legacy
- Engaging in quiet reflection and remembrance
- Prioritizing self-care
- Doing an activity your loved one enjoyed
- Volunteering for a cause in their honor
Step 3: Plan Your Day
Once you’ve decided how to spend the day, plan activities that feel meaningful to you. Here are some ideas:
- Write a letter to your loved one
- Meditate or spend time in quiet reflection
- Light a candle in their honor
- Cook their favorite meal
- Take a walk in nature
- Journal your thoughts or memories
- Host a small gathering to share stories about them
- Create a memory box with special items that remind you of them
- Perform a random act of kindness in their name
- Take a warm bath or do something relaxing
- Volunteer for a cause they cared about