On Weight Gain & Feeling Like A Fraud

Dear diary status…but this one is good, I promise..on weight gain and feeling like a fraud 🙂 Confession: I have been a weight loss coach for over 4 years now and am still learning about what’s REALLY required to maintain my ideal weight, to Love myself unconditionally, and heal my body image issues. To this day..whenever I am going through an intense spiritual healing cycle, I manifest excess weight on my body. I gain weight, I lose weight. And each time I learn something new. Something that makes me a better teacher. Something that humbles me to my core. And something that connects me to my students in a way that I wasn’t connected with them before. The process really is quite beautiful. But that doesn’t mean that the human in me always sees that.

For instance, one of the things I have learned is that for me personally..manifesting excess weight on my body usually means that something energetically has come to the surface to heal. Before realizing this, I used to beat myself up about it. I’d think to myself, “what a fraud I am…teaching other people to lose weight while simultaneously being unable to maintain my ‘ideal’ weight.” Now I see it much differently. Deep down in my heart I believe my soul signed up to experience it all (in the realm of weight loss) so the people I help don’t have to. That’s what our souls sign up for when we step into taking care of “our corner of The Universe”. You are not going to master your corner in three seconds and then be done with it. Oh no..quite the contrary..you are going to be with it for awhile. After all, how else would you transform into the humble and compassionate teacher you were meant to be if it’s THAT easy? The bottom line is..we relate to people like us by experience…am I right?

Recently, as I have taken on energy healing as a primary focus in my 1:1 sessions…I’m learning a whole new lesson in weight loss! As I have talked about in my videos…I gained 10-15 pounds in a month…without changing my eating habits or what I was doing. I automatically put on weight to protect my chakras from all the people’s energy I was working with (this is an energetic boundaries lesson I am learning). It pushed me into being 25ish pounds from my original goal weight that I hit back in 2011…which seemed to mostly manifest in the lower half of my body [the areas that represent the 1st and 2nd chakras]. Oh what a field day my ego had about this weight gain!!! 

After a bit of guilt and choosing to consciously connect with my higher self..I started to realize that this time..the weight loss lesson was on a whole new level. This time around, my weight loss lessons were about so much more than what I was doing..it was about who I was BEING. It became clear that I wasn’t going to be able to work out and eat healthy to get out of this lesson like in the past. It was going to require me to go inward. To be gentle on myself so I could learn concepts that aren’t widespread so I could help others understand why THEY really gain weight (even when it doesn’t make sense from a scientific perspective just yet).

This time, I chose to celebrate this weight gain..this lesson..this gift I am going to be able to give the world. How? By buying a dress I absolutely Love. One that fits my body NOW. This body that is continually learning the lessons that make me the teacher that I am. This excess weight on my body is no longer an embarrassment or a supposed representation of what makes me a “fraud”–it’s what makes me the compassionate spiritual teacher that I am. And today…I’m owning my imperfections and the fact that I’m a work in progress. The fact that I don’t have to be 100 pounds or “perfect” to own the fact that I have knowledge to share with others..knowledge that helps them see themselves in a whole new light. 

How about you? Are you going to own the gift you have for the world…or are you going to keep it to yourself because you aren’t “perfect” yet? 😉

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